Generation F Read online

  Praise for

  GENERATION F: THE GIRLS WRITE NOW 2018 ANTHOLOGY

  “I remember the thrill of being published for the first time like it was yesterday. I was in the eighth grade and my poem, ‘The Door to Escape,’ appeared in the school yearbook. I kept running my fingers over the page, reading the poem again and again, feeling proud and scared in equal measure. Between you and me, the poem wasn’t very good, but it didn’t matter . . . It was the first time I was brave enough to put myself out there. I still think of that door to escape every time I hold a new book of mine that has managed to find its way into print. I feel proud and scared each time, but now with the balance maybe—just maybe—tipping in favor of pride. So I love that Girls Write Now gives young writers an opportunity to experience that thrill—that pride—and, through thoughtful mentoring, helps them to push past the fear.”

  —TARA ALTEBRANDO, author of The Leaving

  “There is no greater proof of the power of writing—and reading—than Girls Write Now. They create space for a diverse range of young, female voices—but by giving us the opportunity to read them, we emerge changed as well.”

  —CHLOE BENJAMIN, author of The Immortalists

  “These girls will create the feminism of the future. It is our job to listen to and support these young women. I’m very grateful that Girls Write Now is helping us do just that.”

  —ROWAN HISAYO BUCHANAN, author of Harmless Like You

  “When I sit down to write, I’m boldly proclaiming that I like spending time with myself, that I am interested in my own mind, ideas, fantasies, and inner life. For girls and women, it’s a radical act to say, my mind is a fascinating place. This is what we do every time we sit down to create.”

  —NAIMA COSTER, author of Halsey Street

  “Stories are history, aspiration, consolation, and survival. For most of history, girls have been the objects of storytellers. It’s time for them to write their own stories.”

  —MOLLY CRABAPPLE, author of Drawing Blood

  “Young women deserve and require mentorship from adult women who’ve been successful in their fields of interest. That’s exactly what Girls Write Now does: creates a bridge young women can use to move toward their goals. I love that.”

  —CAMERON ESPOSITO, cocreator of Take My Wife

  “Throughout their lives, women are told that they need to be empowered. That creates the message that someone else owns a female’s power and that it can be given and taken away. The incredible voices of girls collected in Generation F: The Girls Write Now 2018 Anthology proves this whole status quo about empowerment wrong. Girls don’t need to be empowered, they need to be enabled to use their own power. The Girls Write Now program makes me so excited for the future, one where all voices matter, not just some. Now, that is power.”

  —DR. PATTI FLETCHER, cofounder, PSDNetwork, and author of Disrupters: Success Strategies from Women Who Break the Mold

  “The work that Girls Write Now does, giving young women the tools to better express their ideas, opinions, and experiences, is vital. These girls’ stories should be required reading for anyone hungry for hope in a world that feels increasingly complex and unsteady. These are the changemakers with the power to shape our future.”

  —NEHA GANDHI, editor in chief and COO of Girlboss

  “Girls Write Now is the kind of powerful, lifelong experience I wish I’d had growing up. Young artists doing wildly creative work!”

  —N. K. JEMISIN, author of the Broken Earth trilogy

  “This anthology gifts us with the passionate voices of the next generation. You’ll be inspired by the knowledge that the written word will far more than endure, it will shine.”

  —WALLACE KING, author of Edenland

  “Girls Write Now is essential reading and essential writing. For a world that tells women and girls to be quiet, Girls Write Now is giving them the chance to make noise. Listen.”

  —JILL KOLONGOWSKI, author of Life Lessons Harry Potter Taught Me: Discover the Magic of Friendship, Family, Courage, and Love in Your Life

  “When I was a young immigrant, struggling with language and acceptance, I wish I had had an organization like Girls Write Now to help me find my voice. It is truly humbling to see the eloquence and power that can be unleashed in young women with the right touch—and to hear the strength in a chorus of newly discovered voices that have been granted the training and opportunity to reach their full potential.”

  —MARIA KONNIKOVA, author of The Confidence Game and Mastermind

  “The courageous and heartfelt stories that shape this anthology serve to remind us all that one of the most powerful things in the world is a girl with a pen in her hand.”

  —LANG LEAV, author of Sad Girls

  “To speak in one’s own voice—and to be heard—is a right as unalienable as the preservation of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Girls Write Now gives young women the means to exercise that right. This anthology brings the reader back, again and again, to one fundamental purpose of language itself: deliverance.”

  —RACHEL LYON, author of Self-Portrait with Boy

  “In an age that requires activism in the everyday, the Girls Write Now community of shared experience, mentorship, and creativity has become indispensable. Through story, our understanding of others grows; when we are the ones writing the story, our understanding of self also blooms. These pages are alive with the strength and self-reflection that is born when women work together. Generation F is officially required reading!”

  —KELLY McMASTERS, coeditor of This Is the Place: Women Writing About Home

  “Our world is desperate for fresh voices and new ideas from unconventional sources. The wealth of stories, creativity, and bravery in this collection gives me hope that this next generation will thrive on opportunities to break the mold, challenge the status quo, and let their individuality shine ever brighter.”

  —NILOFER MERCHANT, author of The Power of Onlyness: Make Your Wild Ideas Mighty Enough to Dent the World

  “Hooray for the courage of these young writers, for the grace of their mentors, and for the transforming power of story. Reading these young writers will make you stand up and cheer!”

  —SY MONTGOMERY, author of Walking with the Great Apes: Jane Goodall, Dian Fossey, Birute Galdikas

  “Writing has been a tremendous help for me in finding my voice and finding myself. I love that Girls Write Now is helping girls from all walks of life find that power and truth within themselves.”

  —BETH NEWELL, editor and cofounder of Reductress

  “Few things can shape our future as vitally as empowering young women to become storytellers. Girls Write Now brings us yet another generation taking ownership of their narratives: bright and daring, past and present, now and always.”

  —TÉA OBREHT, author of The Tiger’s Wife

  “It isn’t the meek who will inherit the earth—it’s the young. Thank goodness these young writers, resisters, and boundary-pushers are anything but meek. Their powerful words will inspire you and give you hope for our future.”

  —CAMILLE PERRI, author of The Assistants and When Katie Met Cassidy

  “This triumphant collection folds its arms around readers, letting us know that none of us is alone. That our voices are real, vital, and urgently needed. Thank you to all the girls who are brave enough to share their truest selves on these pages. You give rise to hope through your storytelling gifts. Your emergence is keenly felt.”

  —ANDREA DAVIS PINKNEY, New York Times–bestselling author of The Red Pencil

  “Hearing someone start to find her voice is thrilling. I want to be there as these girls do just that, then stand back as their voices grow stronger and stronger until they’re unstoppable.”

  �
��KAYLEEN SCHAEFER, author of Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship

  “Writing is a powerful act that lets the writer articulate her thoughts and feelings directly, fluently, openly, and originally; and in doing so, the writer forges a connection with that other important half of the equation: the reader. These young writers are working hard every day to describe their inner lives and take them outward; to forge that essential, beautiful connection.”

  —MEG WOLITZER, author of The Female Persuasion

  “These young girls are the real visionaries of tomorrow and we are beyond lucky to read their stories today.”

  —JENNY ZHANG, author of Sour Heart

  Copyright © 2018 by Girls Write Now, Inc.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, digital scanning, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Any requests for using, reproducing, storing, or transmitting by any means of this work should be directed to Girls Write Now, 247 West 37th Street, Suite 1000, New York, NY 10018, Attn: Copyright Request.

  Published 2018

  E-ISBN: 9781936932528

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2018903004

  Cover design by Kaitlin Kall

  For information, write to:

  Girls Write Now, Inc.

  247 West 37th Street, Suite 1000

  New York, NY 10018

  [email protected]

  girlswritenow.org

  Foreword

  ASHLEY C. FORD

  Photo Credit: Joe Rodriguez

  Before I sold a book, wrote an essay, or even knew I wanted to be a writer, I was defiant. As a toddler, when I did not want to be held, I would not be held. In fact, when an adult would try to hold me, I would head-butt them until they let me go. When my mother, at her wits’ end with my antics, would attempt to tame me by strapping me into my car seat, I would rock back and forth until the seat tipped all the way forward. Then I would walk around with the whole contraption on my back, continuing my path of destruction through whoever’s home I happened to be in at the time. My grandmother started to call me “Turtle” because she thought the car seat on my back looked like a tortoise shell. She would smile when she’d tell me these tales.

  “Ashley, you never liked doing what you were told. I guess you just knew yourself.”

  My grandmother was right. Few people like being told what to do, but it went deeper than that for me. I didn’t like being told I didn’t know my own mind. I didn’t want anyone else feeling as though they had a right to touch me if I didn’t want to be touched. And most important, I knew all my goals, dreams, and desires lived somewhere inside me that only I had access to. So when the adults in my life encouraged me to play it safe, I continued to resist them. I majored in English even when I was told I’d never make a living with that degree. I moved to Brooklyn with two bags, $400, and no permanent place to live. I started writing my opinions, first hesitantly, then with all the defiant fury I hadn’t been allowed to express until then.

  But that was only the beginning.

  Almost one year to the day after moving to New York, I got to meet several young women through Girls Write Now. They were brilliant and creative. They read stories that lingered in my mind for months, and asked questions I hadn’t even thought to ask myself. One young woman spoke of her mother, who had encouraged her to write the feelings she couldn’t yet speak. Still, she found the courage to read her story aloud before us all, and in her eyes I saw something familiar: defiance. Not the kind of defiance that takes the place of what you can’t or won’t say, but the kind that allows you to say exactly what you mean. She’d found strength in her words, and I found inspiration in her.

  Girls Write Now has put together a book of the young women who have something to say. The same young women we all are or have been before. I am so excited for you to find yourself in the pages of this book. We’re all here, in every word, and in every story, connected by the inherent defiance of girlhood. Enjoy it.

  Xo,

  ASHLEY C. FORD lives and works in Brooklyn by way of Indiana, hosts a local news-and-culture show called 112BK, and is currently writing her memoir, Somebody’s Daughter.

  Generation F

  THE GIRLS WRITE NOW 2018 ANTHOLOGY

  Fabulous. Ferocious. Fragile. Fresh. Female. Generation F is all of these things and more. It is anything and everything we want it to be. That freedom, that unlimited potential, is what Girls Write Now stands for and offers to its participants. These girls have the world at their fingertips and they dig in, examining their own lives, the state of their neighborhoods, and everything going on today while marching unafraid into the future and all it promises.

  The sun streamed through the large windows that lined the Girls Write Now office on September 24, 2016, the day I first met my mentee. Kimberley was a soft-spoken, polite girl with long, dark hair and an air of hesitation. Neither of us knew that day what was to come, but I was hopeful. We began chatting in the room packed with other fresh or returning mentor–mentee pairs, the goals and ideas of these women and girls reverberating in the air. Kimberley said she loved dark fantasy and we agreed that we both appreciated constructive criticism. Each pair strung beads of different colors, signifying a different Girls Write Now value, on a string in order of importance. Kimberley’s hesitation dropped away as we ordered the beads, and I thought, This girl has opinions and isn’t afraid to share them. I liked that.

  Kimberley writes dark fantasy about human girls crossing into magical lands, but there is so much more to her work. She also writes essays about yearning to travel and her relationships with family and friends, and poems about experiencing womanhood and the inner lives of dolls. In the Girls Write Now workshops, she and other mentees learn about and write magical realism, plays, intergenerational memoir, and more.

  We come, mentors and mentees alike, to Girls Write Now because we want to learn, grow, and share as writers. We come for the community we build and for ears that are always willing and eager to listen. We come to be seen and heard—to be reminded: “You, your thoughts, and your words are valuable. Never stop writing and exploring the world’s potential.” We can’t stop and we don’t want to.

  In preparation for Girls Write Now’s CHAPTERS Reading Series and QWERTY Digital Media Exhibition, mentees must attend a performance tech workshop. Each mentee stands to deliver her piece, looking up at her listeners and back down at her paper, then awaits critique. I watch their faces and I see: uncontainably broad smiles that only widen as they receive thoughtful praise and feedback from peers, mentors, and program staff. Sharing their work doesn’t just thrill them, it sets them on fire, lighting them up from within.

  So if you do one thing for us, do this: Free these words and see what happens. Let these stories ignite a flame in your mind. Know it makes us glow that this book is in your hands and you are turning the pages. Sharing our work is our greatest joy, and we welcome you into Generation F with open arms.

  —ROSALIND BLACK, Anthology Committee Co-Chair

  Anthology Editorial Committee

  Molly MacDermot Editor

  Rosalind Black

  Meg Cassidy Anthology Committee Co-Chairs

  Keciah Bailey

  Nan Bauer-Maglin

  Laura Buchwald

  Alexis Cheung

  Elena Coln

  Megan Elmore

  Hermione Hoby

  Linda Kleinbub

  Erica Moroz

  Kate Mulley

  Livia Nelson

  Hannah Nesbat

  Cynthia-Marie O’Brien

  Carol Paik

  Nikki Palumbo

  Leslie Pariseau

  Emily Present

  Rachel Shope

/>   Lenna Stites

  Maryellen Tighe

  Shara Zaval

  Maria Campo, Director of Programs and Outreach

  Naomi Solomon, Assistant Director of Programs

  Sierra Ritz, Senior Program Coordinator

  Marsha Bernstein, Muneesh Jain, Maggie Muldoon, Jessie Roth, Richelle Szypulski, Paolo Villanueva, Photographers

  Maya Nussbaum, Founder and Executive Director

  CONTENTS

  PRAISE

  TITLE PAGE

  COPYRIGHT

  Foreword by ASHLEY C. FORD

  Note from Anthology Co-Chair, ROSALIND BLACK

  Anthology Editorial Committee

  Introduction by SAMHITA MUKHOPADHYAY

  POETRYABEBE, RACHEL Tribe

  POETRYABRAHAM, JISELLE White and Blue / Outta Luck

  MEMOIRADOTE, CRYSTAL Dela’s Dream

  FICTIONAGUILAR-COLON, SOLEDAD Who Is Ozzie?

  MEMOIRAKILOVA, NAZERKE A Gift from My Mom

  FICTIONANDERST, LEAH Flash Non/Fiction/@FlashNarratives

  POETRYANDRE, SADE (F)ear

  POETRYANDREWS, ASSATA Dear Black Women,

  POETRYBAILEY, KECIAH Freedom

  MEMOIRBARAN, ARIELLE GRANDmother

  POETRYBAUER-MAGLIN, NAN Baby Walking

  POETRYBLACK, ROSALIND I Feel

  POETRYBROOKES, JANEIN Soar

  POETRYBRYANT, KATE Even though I know how very far

  FICTIONCABRERA, NATHALIE Mirror

  MEMOIRCARLIN, SHANNON The Memories of My Mom, Hidden in Pierogi Dough

  MEMOIRCARPENTER, JULIA A talk with my mother

  POETRYCASEY-WHITEMAN, JOCELYN Ceremony

  FICTIONCASSIDY, MEG Spring Green

  FICTIONCASTILLO, SAONY Because He Liked It

  MEMOIRCEDENO, REBECCA I Wanted to Be Cool

  FICTIONCHE, JORDAN Mirror Image

  MEMOIRCHEN, DARYL How superiority is born

  JOURNALISMCHEN, MAGGIE Korean Pop Highlights Are Their Own Flaws

  MEMOIRCHEUNG, ALEXIS Ring Around Iceland’s Ring Road

  POETRYCHINEDO, MARYCLARE Maryclare Yesterday vs. Maryclare Today